Laughter is indeed the best medicine, and there’s something inexplicably magical about a good joke that can make even the most solemn faces crack into smiles.
In this delightful compilation, we bring you a selection of side-splitting jokes that are bound to tickle your funny bone and leave you in stitches.
Get ready for a rollercoaster of giggles, chuckles, and outright belly laughs as we explore the world of humor that might just make you cry with joy.
The Classic Knock-Knock Jokes:
Olive you and I miss you!
2. Knock, knock.
Cow says who?
No silly, cow says moooo!
Punny Puns for Maximum Giggles:
3. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity.
It’s impossible to put down!
4. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
The Animal Kingdom:
5. Why don’t oysters donate to charity?
Because they are shellfish!
6. How do you organize a space party?
The Quirky World of Wordplay:
7. What do you call fake spaghetti?
8. Parallel lines have so much in common.
It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
The Playful Twist:
9. Why don’t scientists trust stairs?
Because they’re always up to something!
10. Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He will stop at nothing to avoid them!
The Unexpected Punchline:
11. I’m on a whiskey diet.
I’ve lost three days already!
12. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
Funny Jokes That Will Make You Cry
- What do you call a hippie’s wife? A Mississippi!
- What did the duck say when she bought lipstick? Put it on my bill!
- I hate Russian dolls. They’re so full of themselves.
- What condition does a noodle have when it doesn’t feel like it’s good enough? – Impasta Syndrome!
- Dear life, when I said “Can my day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question not a challenge.
- I’m so tired of saying “Oh shit, my mask…”. Like I’m Batman or some shit.
- Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent
- What do you call an angry carrot? A steamed veggie.
- What would bears be without bees? Ears.
- What did the triangle say to the circle? You’re pointless.
- What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits.
- What did one toilet say to another? You look flushed.
- What do sprinters eat before they race? Nothing. They fast.
- What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1.
- What did the tomato say to the other tomato during a race? Ketchup.
- What do you call a sad strawberry? A blue berry!
- What do cows read the most? Cattle-logs.
- What did 0 say to 8? “Nice belt.”
- Why do mushrooms get invited to all the parties? Because they are such fungis.
- What does a spy do when he is cold? He goes undercover.
- What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto!
- Where did the computer go dancing? The disc-o!
- What do bees do if they need a ride? Wait at the buzz stop!
- Why can you never hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
- What do you call a sad cup of coffee? Depresso.
- How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a ring.
- What do you give to a sick lemon? Lemon aid!
- What did the little mountain say to the bigger mountain? Hi Cliff!
- One night an aeroplane was burglarized, and all the toilet paper was stolen. When the police came to investigate, their report was inconclusive, because they had nothing to go on.
- What did the fish say when he hit the wall? DAM!
- Maybe money can’t buy happiness, but I think it’s only fair to give to me learn that lesson myself.
- I admit that my level of weirdness is above the average, but i’m comfortable with it.
- What happens when a snowman throws a tantrum? He has a meltdown.
- What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
Hilarious Jokes That Will Make You Cry: One-Liners
- My friend’s in prison for flashing; he says he can’t bare it anymore.
- I said to my friend, “Let’s take turns naming American vice-presidents, Al Gore first.”
- My friend’s selling a load of broken yo-yos, no strings attached.
- I tried drag racing the other day; it’s murder trying to run in those heels.
- I went geese hunting the other day but once they started flying I knew the game was up.
- What’s the leading cause of dry skin? Towels
- Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
- Where does the general put his armies? In his sleeves.
- What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine? Give me my quarterback.
- How did the two cats end their fight? They hissed and made up.
- How did the barber win the race? He knew a shortcut!
- I was a bookkeeper for 10 years… the local library wasn’t too happy about it.
- It’s really important to obey the laws of grammar, after all, rules are rules.
- Why didn’t the vampire attack Taylor Swift? She had bad blood.
Hilarious Jokes That Will Make You Cry for Adults
- Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex. – They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch.
- Someone asked the other day how you spell “scrotum”, I replied ” you should have asked me last night as it was on the tip of my tongue”
- What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They are both meat substitutes
- What do you call a useless piece of skin on a penis? A penis
- A naked man broke into a church. The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ.
- I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around.
- You don’t need a driver license to ride me.
- My entire life can be summed up in one sentence… “well that didn’t f*cking go as planned.”
- I come from a place where “keep talking” means you better shut the fuck up.
- The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him with my gun. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
- My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
- My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
- If you were born in September, it’s pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.
- What do you call an IT teacher who touches up his students? A PDF file
- How is virginity like a soap bubble? One prick and it’s gone
- How is pubic hair like parsley? You push it to the side before you start eating.
- How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
- What do you do when your cat’s dead? Play with the neighbor’s pussy instead.
- What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
- I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed “does anyone know CPR?” I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet” and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except for one person.
- My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
- Why does a mermaid wear seashells? Because she outgrew her B-shells!
Hilarious Jokes That Will Make You Cry: Teens
- What did the French teacher say to the class? I don’t know I couldn’t understand her.
- Why couldn’t the teacher control her pupils? She couldn’t find her glasses.
- What did the tomato say to the ketchup bottle? How you doin’ brother.
- What can you catch but not throw? Your breath.
- What did the chef say to make the raw potato laugh? This is going to be your last roast.
- For Sale: Parachute. Used once, never opened, small stain.
- “The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.”
- “They laughed at my crayon drawing. I laughed at their chalk outline.”
- What gets sharper the more you use it but dull if you don’t use it at all? Students
- What’s the difference between the ACT and SAT? One letter.
- What do a school and a plant have in common? STEM.
- What do you do if there is a kidnapping at high school? You wake him up.
- I’m mostly “Peace, Love and Light” and a little “Go F*ck Yourself “
Short Jokes That Are Funny
1. What do kids play when their mom is using the phone? Bored games.
2. What do you call an ant who fights crime? A vigilANTe!
3. Why are snails slow? Because they’re carrying a house on their back.
4. What’s the smartest insect? A spelling bee!
5. What does a storm cloud wear under his raincoat? Thunderwear.
6. What is fast, loud and crunchy? A rocket chip.
7. How does the ocean say hi? It waves!
8. What do you call a couple of chimpanzees sharing an Amazon account? PRIME-mates.
9. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Because she was stuffed.
10. Why did the soccer player take so long to eat dinner? Because he thought he couldn’t use his hands.
11. Name the kind of tree you can hold in your hand? A palm tree!
12. What do birds give out on Halloween? Tweets.
13. What has ears but cannot hear? A cornfield.
14. What’s a cat’s favorite dessert? A bowl full of mice-cream.
15. Where did the music teacher leave her keys? In the piano!
16. What did the policeman say to his hungry stomach? “Freeze. You’re under a vest.”
17. What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between us, something smells!
18. What do you call a guy who’s really loud? Mike.
19. Why do birds fly south in the winter? It’s faster than walking!
20. What did the lava say to his girlfriend? “I lava you!”
21. Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake.
22. What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4k? HDMI.
23. Which superhero hits home runs? Batman!
24. What’s Thanos’ favorite app on his phone? Snapchat.
25. Sandy’s mum has four kids; North, West, East. What is the name of the fourth child? Sandy, obviously!
26. What is a room with no walls? A mushroom.
27. Why did the blue jay get in trouble at school? For tweeting on a test!
28. What social events do spiders love to attend? Webbings.
29. What did one pickle say to the other? Dill with it.
Conclusion on Laughter, the Universal Language
Laughter has a way of breaking barriers, bringing people together, and infusing life with joy. These hilarious jokes are a testament to the power of humor, reminding us to find the lighter side of life even in the midst of challenges.
Whether it’s a witty pun, a clever play on words, or a delightful twist, these jokes are designed to make you cry tears of laughter.
So, the next time you need a pick-me-up or want to spread some cheer, share these jokes with your friends and family.
After all, as the saying goes, “A day without laughter is a day wasted.” Let the laughter flow and the tears roll – not of sadness, but of pure, unadulterated joy.
Spread the joy with the share button present below.
Thank You 🙂