500+ Sarcastic Jokes To Tell Your Friends in 2022 [Must Read]

Jokes to tell a girl over text, best dirty jokes to tell your friends, long joke that will make anyone laugh, jokes to tell your friends: Here we have listed tons of jokes which you can blast anywhere when you are with your friends and make them laugh out loud. It would be a great laughter sessions and stress buster when you are with you are friends and just putting your kinky jokes.

woman laughing hard

The best humorous events and absurd jokes to tell your friends can be any time with you so you can have a blast with your closest friends. Imagine spending a relaxed day with pals, laughing heartily, telling the funniest jokes, and pulling each other’s legs.

So just tighten up your mood and be ready with the sarcastic and punchline jokes which you can blast when you are with your friends and gag out loud with tears of happiness.

Jokes To Tell Your Friends

Just think about it, wouldn’t it is a stress buster session when are you gagging out old with your friends with some jokes awesome jokes that don’t mean anything but make you feel so happy and laugh? That kind of joke here we have listed out, so just go ahead and explore.

  1. Did you know that best friends would not mind if your place is clean. All they need is beer.
  2. You may share all your secrets with me. They can be safe with my friends.
  3. While I was wondering how the ball was turning bigger in size, my friend hit me with it.
  4. Do you consider me your friend? Then be ready to pick up my call 100 times a day.
  5. Yes buddy, I am ready to take a bullet from you. But only if you give me 1000 dollars.
  6. What if I say that potatoes can quarrel as they cannot see eye to eye?
  7. My boyfriend wanted a holiday so I sat at home.
  8. My best friend is like pepperoni on pizza. Never mind, it sounds right to me.
  9. Did you know that friends who like to work on algebra are called algebras?
  10. My friend got all cut. What? Yeah, he’s gone bald.
  11. Why do birds fly? That’s because it is easier than walking.
  12. Zero praised eight that it has got a stylish belt.
  13. You can be my friend as you match my level of craziness.
  14. Can you fix broken tomatoes? Yes, make them into a paste.
  15. My boyfriend and I laughed at how happy we were. But I ended up laughing more.
  16. What does the plant drink? Ha ha. Root beer.
  17. Ocean and shore cannot talk, it can just wave.
  18. Art is the favorite subject of a pirate.
  19. Bumble gum is a favorite food of bumble bees.
  20. I don’t use soap as I’m super clean now.
  21. Did you know cows love movies?
  22. Here’s a tip for ladies. If your boyfriend doesn’t compliment you, then let the man-go.
  23. Friends and good manners will carry you where money won’t go.” -Margaret Walker
  24. My best friend is a squirrel. He keeps driving me nuts.
  25. I went to the doctor as I broke my arm in two places. He told me I shouldn’t have gone to those places.
  26. Did you know that bananas love slippers? Yes, it does.
  27. I have a stupid friend. How? She never minds walking with me in public.
  28. ‘You look flushed!’ Said one toilet to the other.
  29. The celery of the gardener was too low, hence he left.
  30. “You can always tell a real friend: when you’ve made a fool of yourself he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job.” -Laurence J. Peter
  31. You can never listen to a construction joke as it is always a ‘work in progress.’
  32. What bottoms do clouds wear? Umm, thunderpants!
  33. The towel keeps asking if its job is to dry people or get wet.
  34. My friend ate a clock. She said it was time-consuming.
  35. Good news to share. I got a negative in my IQ test.
  36. Somebody told me to taste happiness after getting married. It’s been 10 years, and I haven’t tasted it yet.
  37. What is the difference between in-laws and outlaws? Well, the latter is welcomed.
  38. Dessert is the last sweet that you have as your marriage begins.
  39. “People say ‘Bill, are you an optimist?’ And I say, ‘I hope so.’” –Bill Bailey
  40. “You know you’re working class when your TV is bigger than your bookcase.” – Rob Beckett
  41. “Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last long if you’re fat.” – Joe Lycett
  42. The legend says money speaks. Mine only says ‘bye.’
  43. My husband says I cannot make decisions. I saw him and said, ‘You are right.’
  44. I had been to an emotional wedding. Why? Even the wedding cake was in tiers.
  45. Tell me the antonym or irony? Umm, wrinkly!
  46. Did you see the tomato blushing? Well, yes. It was because it saw the salad dressing.
  47. The teddy was so stuffed that it did not eat the food.
  48. Every math book is sad as it is filled with too many problems.
  49. What is the nickname of a rich elf? It is welfy!
  50. Did you know mummies enjoy wrap music?

girl laughing with hand in front of face

Dumb Jokes To Tell Your Friends

Jokes to tell a girl over text, best dirty jokes to tell your friends, long joke that will make anyone laugh, jokes to tell your friends.

  1. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
  2. Did you hear about the guy who stole a calendar? He got 12 months; they say his days are numbered.
  3. I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
  4. There are two types of people in the world, those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.
  5. What’s the best part about living in Switzerland? Not sure, but the flag is a big plus.
  6. Why did the dog cross the road? To get to the barking lot!
  7. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
  8. A nurse told me, “Sorry for the wait!” I replied, “It’s alright, I’m patient.”
  9. Working in a mirror factory is something I could totally see myself doing.
  10. I’m terrified of elevators, so I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them.
  11. Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
  12. Why are pirates called pirates? Because they arrrr!
  13. Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar. “Get out of here!”, shouts the bartender. “We don’t serve your type.”
  14. Can February March? No, but April May!
  15. What do you call a cold dog? A chili dog!

Some Badass Party Jokes

  1. My wife asked me to put her shoes on. I said, ‘they won’t fit me.’
  2. What is the nickname of a fish without an eye? Fish!
  3. What is the name of a bear without teeth? Umm, is it a gummy bear? Yes!
  4. What is green in color but has wheels? Grass! How? Well, the second part is a lie.
  5. Why is the sky so red? It is not! It is, in my imagination.
  6. My broom was late. Because it over-swept last night.
  7. What is Minnie Mouse’s favorite car? It’s a Minnie van.
  8. How long were you in the hospital? No, I was of the same size.
  9. She sent the picture to the prison. Why? Because it was framed.
  10. Lee doesn’t talk to anyone because he is lone-lee.
  11. My mobile phone needs glasses as it lost all the contacts.
  12. Mom: Can I see your report card.
    Son: No.
    Mom: Why?
    Son: My friend took it away as he wanted to scare his sister.
  13. I have an employment joke but cannot tell you. Why? Because it doesn’t work.
  14. Why can’t sharks swim in pepper water? That might make them sneeze.
  15. Should I tell you a good knock-knock joke? Yes. Well, I’m not in a mood to open the door.
  16. We have been friends since ages. Is it your bad influence or mine?
  17. I wanted to send you a short and crisp birthday message, here it is – HBD!
  18. I was waiting for your birthday for months. Why? For the treat.
  19. I don’t think you are my best friend. All your selfies get more likes than mine.
  20. You are not my best friend but my brother. Why? Our laziness levels match.
  21. The scientist says you should not trust atoms. Why? Since they keep making up everything.
  22. The computers went dancing to the Disc-Os.
  23. If you are thinking of talking to giants, then don’t forget to use big words.
  24. Why does the witch keep teaching? Because her favorite subject is SPELLING.
  25. How does the sea greet? By waving.
  26. Which dog can perform magic? Only a Labracadabrador.
  27. Can February be March? No. But April May!
  28. Who are the ancestors of snowmen? Water.
  29. I have a friend and an enemy in one. How? She eats my food.
  30. Trees have plenty of friends because they keep branching out.
  31. Friendship is like onions, it goes on and on.
  32. My pet pig knows karate. Hence, I named it pork chop.
  33. My friend’s scarecrow received a trophy as it was outstanding.
  34. Planets love music. Which one? Nep-tunes
  35. The vampire was sick. It was in the coffin.
  36. Do you know what sea monsters have for lunch? Fish with ships.
  37. Rabbits love to travel by hareplanes.
  38. The mushrooms went to the doctor as it got fungi.
  39. Which flowers are known as best kissers? None but tu-lips.
  40. Who is a person with no nose and no body? Well, nobody knows.
  41. When can a priest become a father? When he is a father-in-law.
  42. What is sticky and brown? A brown stick.
  43. What is red and in a bottle? Red paint.
  44. How do you know when the computer is heated? It will vent out.
  45. Which vehicle has lots of flies? A truck full of garbage.
  46. Bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs.
  47. Egg’s jokes don’t land on time because they crack mid-way.
  48. The person who irons clothes, is called? Super hero. How? Because he is Iron man.
  49. Birds have the super power of sticking to each other using Vel-cro.
  50. Which factory always sells good products? Satis-factory.
  51. What keeps running but doesn’t reach the destination? A fridge.

Good Jokes To Tell Your Friends

  1. What do dentists call their x-rays? Tooth pics!
  2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
  3. Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9!
  4. Grandma: Back in our days, you could buy bread, milk, soaps, spices, eggs, meat, all for a dollar.
    Little Kid: You can’t do that now. They have CCTVs everywhere!
  5. When your teacher asks “Where’s your homework?” It took a sick day. It had too many problems.
  6. You can’t trust atoms. They make up everything!
  7. Why won’t it hurt if you hit your friend with a 2-liter of soda? Because it’s a soft drink!
  8. Why do mushrooms get invited to all the best parties? He was a fun-gi!
  9. What has four wheels and flies? Garbage truck
  10. I got fired from my job at the bank today. An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
  11.  What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant.
  12. Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.
  13. Why do you smear peanut butter on the road? To go with the traffic jam.
  14. Where did Napoleon keep his armies? In his sleevies.
  15. Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards? He was just going through a stage.

Jokes To Tell a Girl Over Text

  1. What do you call the process of aging for snowmen? Evaporation.
  1. A good friend can finish your sentences… a best friend will do the same, but make it sound 10 times dirtier
  1. Father: Son, did you give fresh water to your pet goldfish?
    Son: Nope. They are yet to finish the water which I gave to them last week!
  1. Kid: Where do pirates go when they are sick?
    Dad: Where?
    Kid: They go to the dock!
  1. Wife: Here, look at that drunk guy. We were supposed to get married 10 years ago.
    Me: Wow, he is still celebrating. Lucky guy!

Stupid Jokes To Tell Your Friends

  1. The first rule of the Alzheimer’s club is… Wait, where are we again?
  2. How many tickles does it take to get an octopus to laugh? Ten tickles.
  3. Why did the farmer win an award? He was out standing in his field!
  4. I told my doctor that I had broken my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.
  5. Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe!
  6. Just went to an emotional wedding — even the cake was in tiers.
  7. My teachers told me I’d never amount to much since I procrastinate so much. I told them, “Just you wait!”
  8. How much teddy bears never want to eat anything? Because they’re always stuffed.
  9. What’s a plant’s favorite drink? Root beer!
  10. Who cleans the ocean? Mer-maids!
  11. A magician was driving down the road and turned into a driveway.
  12. Just finished a box of Corn Flakes. You can check out my cereal killer Netflix special next Tuesday.
  13. A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Why the long face?”
  14. I stayed up all night and tried to figure out where the sun was. Then it dawned on me.
  15. I invented a new word! Plagiarism!

Funny Jokes To Tell Your Friends At School

  1. Why was the torch happy? It was lit.
  2. What gets more wet the more it dries? A towel!
  3. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it did not peel well.
  4. Why should you never trust stairs? They’re always up to something.
  5. Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
  6. A bear walks into a bar and says, “Give me a whiskey and … cola.”
    “Why the big pause?”, asks the bartender. The bear shrugged. “I’m not sure; I was born with them.”
  7. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.
  8. Why were the parents so afraid of the energy drink? It was a Monster!
  9. What kind of shorts do clouds wear? Thunder pants
  10. Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards? He was just going through a stage.
  11. What do pampered cows produce? Spoiled milk.
  12. Why did the cat run away from the tree? It was afraid of the bark!
  13. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator
  14. What does a house wear? Address!
  15. How do you fix a broken tomato? Tomato paste!

‘Knock Knock’ Jokes To Tell Your Friends

  1. Knock! Knock! Who’s there? Candice. Candice who? Candice door open, or am I stuck out here?
  2. Knock knock. Who’s there? Jimmy. Jimmy who? Jimmy crack corn, and I don’t care!
  3. Knock knock. Who’s there? Amish. Amish who? Really? You don’t look like a shoe.
  4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Luke. Luke who? Luke through the peep hole and find out.
  5. Knock, knock Who’s there? Nun Nun who? Nun of your business!
  6. Knock knock. Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in it’s cold out here.
  7. Knock knock. Who’s there? Snow. Snow who? Snow use. I forgot my name again!
  8. Knock knock. Who’s there? Closure. Closure who? Closure mouth while you’re chewing!
  9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Alice. Alice who? Alice fair in love and war.
  10. Knock knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive, you and I don’t care who knows it!
  11. Knock! Knock! Who’s there? Robin. Robin who? Robin you—hand over the cash!
  12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Euripides. Euripides who? Euripides clothes, you pay for them!
  13. Knock! Knock! Who’s there? Stopwatch Stopwatch who? Stopwatch you’re doing and pay attention!
  14. Knock knock. Who’s there? Rhino! Rhino who? Rhino, every knock knock joke there is!
  15. Knock knock. Who’s there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Never mind, there’s no point!

Most Funny Jokes to tell your friends

Jokes to tell a girl over text, best dirty jokes to tell your friends, long joke that will make anyone laugh, jokes to tell your friends.

  1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
  2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
  3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”
  4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
  5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.
  6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.
  7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.
  8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
  9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
  10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
  11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).
  12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
  13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.
  14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
  15. Where do hamburgers go dancing?  They go to the meat-ball.
  16. Why did the tomato turn red?  It saw the salad dressing.
  17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
  18. What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account? Prime mates.
  19. Why are teddy bears never hungry? Because they’re always stuffed!
  20. Why did the tree go to the dentist? It needed a root canal.
  21. If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do elves get? Mistle-toes.
  22. Why couldn’t the pony sing? Because she was a little hoarse.
  23. Where do cows go for entertainment? The mooooo-vies!
  24. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
  25. How does NASA organize a party? They planet.
  26. Why did Adele cross the road?  To sing, “Hello from the other side!
  27. What runs around a yard without actually moving? A fence.
  28. What’s an astronaut’s favorite candy? A Mars bar.
  29. Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?  The baa-baa shop.
  30. Why are there gates around cemeteries? Because people are dying to get in.
  31. What do you get when you cross a snake with a pie? A pie-thon!
  32. Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands.
  33. What’s the most musical part of the chicken? The drumstick.

35. How do you know when the moon has had enough to eat? When it’s full.

36. What kind of music do planets like? Neptunes.

37. Why can’t you trust an atom? Because they make up everything.

38. What do you call a group of disorganized cats? A cat-tastrophe.

39. Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs.

40. Where do you learn to make banana splits? At sundae school.

41. How do you tell if a vampire is sick? By how much he is coffin.

42. Why are ghosts good cheerleaders?  Because they have a lot of spirit!

43. What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down? It gets toad away.

44. Why did the witches’ team lose the baseball game?  Their bats flew away.

45. Why did the school kids eat their homework? Because their teacher told them it was a piece of cake.

46. Why are hairdressers never late for work?  Because they know all the short cuts!

47. What is the difference between a teacher and a train? One says, “Spit out your gum,” and the other says, “Choo choo choo!”

48. Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn?  Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

49. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it.

50. What is the tallest building in the entire world?  The library, because it has so many stories.

51. How do trees access the internet? They log in.

52. What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant?  Swimming trunks.

53. Why did the painting go to jail?  It was framed.

54. Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team? Because she ran away from the ball.

55. Why do we tell actors to break a leg?  Because every play has a cast.

56. Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve your type.”

57. Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his treasure? Because he was a little shellfish.

58. Why should you knock on the refrigerator before opening the door? In case there is a salad dressing

59. When is a door not a door? When it is ajar

60. What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? Dam.

61. Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta-way.

62.  I sold my vacuum the other day. All it was doing was collecting dust.

63. What is Forrest Gump’s email password? 1forrest1.

64. Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? 10,000 soles were lost. The police said some heels started it.

65. What’s the difference between a rabbit and a plum? They’re both purple except for the rabbit.

66. I like elephants. Everything else is irrelephant.

67. What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

68. Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks.

69. Do you want to hear a construction joke? Sorry, I’m still working on it.

70. Why should you never trust stairs? They’re always up to something.

71. Why did the bullet end up losing his job? He got fired.

72. How do you measure a snake? In inches—they don’t have feet.

73. What does a house wear? Address!

74. The first rule of the Alzheimer’s club is… Wait, where are we again?

75. Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? There was nothing left but de Brie.

76. Where should you go in the room if you’re feeling cold? The corner—they’re usually 90 degrees.

77. What did the Buddhist ask the hot dog vendor? “Make me one with everything.”

78. Why don’t blind people skydive? Because it scares their dogs.

79. What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste, mostly.

80. I stayed up all night and tried to figure out where the sun was. Then it dawned on me.

81. How much space will be freed in the EU after Brexit? Approximately 1 GB.

82. What do you call malware on a Kindle? A bookworm.

83. What did the tie say to the hat? You go on ahead. I’ll hang around.

84. What do you call a musician with problems? A trebled man.

85. What washes up on very small beaches? Micro-waves.

86. What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

87. What did the grape do when it got stepped on? It let out a little wine.

88. What did the snail who was riding on the turtle’s back say? Wheeeee!

89. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.

90. What does a pig put on dry skin? Oinkment.

man with a clown nose on a bench

91. What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum? A meltdown.

92. How do you open a banana? With a mon-key.

93. Why do oranges wear sunscreen? So they don’t peel.

94. What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!

95. How did the pig get to the hogspital? In a hambulance.

96. Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he had a great fall.

97. What do you call a pudgy psychic? A four-chin teller.

98. What do you get when you mix a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a ghost? A cocker-poodle boo.

99. How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans.

100. How much money does a pirate pay for corn? A buccaneer.

101. Where do young trees go to learn? Elementree school.

102. What do you call a hippie’s wife? Mississippi.

103. How can you tell it’s a dogwood tree? By the bark.

104. What’s the stinkiest planet? Poopiter.

105. What did the full glass say to the empty glass? You look drunk.

106. Did you hear the one about the roof? Never mind, it’s over your head.

107. What’s the best smelling insect? A deodor-ant.

108. Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing.

109. What do you call someone who doesn’t like carbs? Lack-Toast Intolerant.

110. Why did the birthday boy wrap himself in paper? He wanted to live in the present.

111. What’s a potato’s favorite form of transportation? The gravy train

112. Why did the woman go on the date with the mushroom? Because he was a fun-ghi.

113. Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella? Fo drizzle.

114. Why is it impossible to starve in the desert? Because of all the sand which is there!

115. Why can’t Chuck Norris use the internet? Because he won’t submit.

116. What do you call a dog that’s been run over by a steamroller? Spot!

117. How does Lady Gaga like her steak? (sing) Raw-raw-raw-ra-ah-aww

118. What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror? Haloumi!

119. Why did the developer go broke? Because he used up all his cache.

120. Why did the ghost go to rehab? He was addicted to boos.

121. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!

122. What do you call a dinosaur with only one eye? A Do-you-think-he-saw-us!

123. What do you call sad coffee? Despresso.

124. What do you give to a sick lemon? Lemon aid!

125. Why are pirates called pirates? Because they arrgh!

126. What don’t ants get sick? They have anty-bodies.

127. What type of candy is always late? A chocolate.

128. What sound does a nut make when it sneezes? Ca-shew!

129. What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals? Phillipe Phillope.

130. The past, present and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

131. What do you call someone who can’t stick with a diet? A desserter.

132. Which table fits in the fridge? VegeTABLE.

133. Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.

134. Is Google male or female? Female, because it doesn’t let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

135. What do you call it when you walk into a cafe you’re sure you’ve been to before? Déjà brew.

136. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

137. Are you a cheetah? No, you lion!

138. Which bus never drove on any street? The globus.

139. Where does the General keep his armies? In his sleevies!

140. How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Poke him on.

141. Why doesn’t the sun go to college? Because it has a million degrees!

142. How did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate the pizza before it was cool.

143. What’s red and moves up and down? A tomato in an elevator.

144. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent!

145. How did the blonde die ice fishing? She was hit by the zamboni.

146. What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? Same middle name.

147. Why did the nurse need a red pen at work? In case she needed to draw blood.

148. What do you call a rooster staring at a pile of lettuce? A chicken sees a salad.

149. Why don’t Calculus majors throw house parties? Because you should never drink and derive.

150. Where are average things manufactured? The satisfactory.

silly photo of cat in a tie next to an abacus

151. What do you call a space magician? A flying saucerer.

152. What is a computer’s first sign of old age? Loss of memory.

153. What happened when the computer fell on the floor? It slipped a disk.

154. Why was there a bug in the computer? It was looking for a byte to eat.

155. What is a computer virus? A terminal illness.

156. What kind of doctor fixes broken websites? A URLologist.

157. What’s a cat’s favorite color? Purrr-ple.

158. What do Martians like to drink? Gravi-TEA.

159. What is an astronaut’s favorite meal of the day? Launch.

160. Why did the alien go to the doctor? He was looking a little green.

161. What did Venus say to Saturn? Give me a ring.

162. What do you call ticks in space? Luna-ticks.

163. What do planets sing in a choir? Nep-tunes.

164. What doesn’t get any wetter no matter how much it rains? The ocean.

165. What is a gust of wind’s favorite color? Blew.

166. Where do happy lightning bolts live? Cloud nine.

167. What does a ghost wear to splash in puddles? BOOOOOOOts.

168. What’s an avocado’s favorite kind of music? Guac and roll!

169. Why did the dinosaur go to the doctor? He had an eye-saur.

170. How did the dinosaur build her house? With a dino-saw.

171. What do you call a dinosaur that asks a lot of deep questions? A philosiraptor.

172. Why should you never ask a dinosaur to read a story if you are in a hurry? Their tales are too long.

173. What type of flower should you not give on Valentine’s Day? Cauli-flower.

174. What is an insect’s favorite sport? Cricket.

175. What is the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know, and I don’t care.

176. How long does it take to make butter? An echurnity!

177. When you look for something, why is it always in the last place you look? Because when you find it, you stop looking.

178. Where did the music teacher leave her keys? In the piano!

179. Which superhero hits home runs? Batman!

180. What fruit do twins love? Pears!

181. Who eats snails? People who don’t like fast food!

182. What is the strongest animal in the sea? Mussels!

183. What kind of chicken is the funniest? A comedi-hen!

184. What does a triceratops sit on? Its tricera-bottom!

two women walking and laughing

185. What kind of pizza do dogs eat? Pup-eroni pizza!

186. What do you call a famous turtle? A shell-ebrity!

187. What cookie flavor do monkeys love? Chocolate Chimp!

188. Why do hurricanes wear a monocle to see? Because they have one eye!

189. What did the clock ask the watch? Hour you doing?

190. What’s the most famous fish? A starfish!

191. What kind of fish loves going to battle? A swordfish!

192. Where do birds invest their money? The stork-market!

193. What’s a pirate’s favorite county? Arrrrgh-entina!

194. What do newborn kittens wear? Dia-purrs!

195. Which holiday do cows enjoy most? Moo-Year’s Day!

196. What do cheerleaders eat for breakfast? Cheerios!

197. How do ice hockey players stay cool? They sit next to the fans!

198. Why did the piano teacher need a ladder? To reach the high notes!

199. What kind of fishing bait do librarians use? Book-worms!

200. Which state is the smartest? Alabama—it has four As and one B!

201. What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark? Flood-lights!

202. What is the center of gravity? The letter V!

203. What breaks when you speak? Silence!

204. Why do you go to bed at night? Because the bed won’t go to you!

205. Which month do trees dislike? Sep-timber!

206. What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Cliff.

207. Why did the clown always choose the red balloon? Because they were pop-ular.

208. Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? There was de-Brie everywhere.

209. How does a penguin build his house? Igloos it together.

210. A big moron and a little moron were standing on a cliff. The big moron fell off. Do you know why the other one didn’t? Because he was a little more on.

211. Where do pirates get their hooks? Secondhand stores.

212. What runs but never goes anywhere? A refrigerator.

213. What do you call a beehive without an exit? Unbelievable.

214. Why are skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.

215. How does a rancher keep track of his cattle? With a cow-culator.

216. What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A Maybe.

217. Why did the restaurant hire a pig? He was good at bacon.

218. Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it’s tearable.

219. What kind of shoes does a lazy person wear? Loafers.

220. How do you make a water bed bouncier? Add spring water.

221. Why did the manager bring a pencil and paper to the match? They were hoping for a draw!

222. What did Dory order from McDonald’s? The Big MacKerel!

223. When should you take a plum to dinner? If you can’t find a date!

224. What do you call a wrestler who always comes in second place? The Penultimate Warrior!

man holding laughing emoji in front of his face

225. Why couldn’t Captain America find Thor’s brother? He was Low-key!

226. What do skateboarders do when they’re really talented? They GoPro!

227. Where does a spy go to the toilet? A gents!

228. What kind of exercise do lazy people do? Diddly-squats.

229. Why did the M&M go to school? He wanted to be a Smartie.

230. You know what I saw today? Everything I looked at.

231. What are a shark’s two most favorite words? Man overboard!

232. What do you call a singing laptop? A Dell!

233. Why did the orange stop? It ran out of juice!

234. What kind of ghost has the best hearing? The eeriest.

235. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

236. When do computers overheat? When they need to vent.

237. How do rabbits travel? By hareplanes.

238. What did the yoga instructor say when her landlord tried to evict her? Namaste.

239. What do you call birds that stick together? Vel-crows.

240. What do sea monsters eat? Fish and ships.

241. What did the tomato say to the other tomato during a race? Ketchup.

242. How did the barber win the race? He knew a shortcut.

243. What do cows most like to read? Cattle-logs.

244. What do you call a pile of cats? A meow-tain.

245. What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor.

246. What do you do with a sick boat? Take it to the doc already.

247. Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.

248. What do horses say when they fall? Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t giddy up.

249. Did you hear about the man who got hit by the same bike every morning? It was a vicious cycle.

250. Why did the poor man stock up on yeast? To make some dough.

251. What does corn say when you give it a compliment? Aw shucks!

252. Why were the fish’s grades so bad? It was below sea level.

253. Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.

254. What do lawyers wear to work? Lawsuits.

255. What’s the best way to burn 1000 calories? Leave the pizza in the oven.

256. Why are the Irish so wealthy? Because their capital is always Dublin.

257. What has more lives than a cat? A frog, because it croaks every night.

258. What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer? A father-in-law.

259. What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.

260. How do you drown a hipster? Throw him in the mainstream.

261. What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches? A nervous wreck.

262. Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs? They always take things literally.

263. What does Charles Dickens keep in his spice rack? The best of thymes, the worst of thymes.

264. What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller? “Curses! Foil again!”

265. What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present? Thanks— I’ll never part with it!

266. What’s orange and sounds like a carrot? A parrot.

267. What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen.

268. What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Aye matey.

269. Why did the yogurt go to the art exhibition? Because it was cultured.

270. What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes? Re-Morse code.

271. Why is it annoying to eat next to basketball players? They dribble all the time.

272. What breed of dog can jump higher than buildings? Any dog, because buildings can’t jump.

273. How many times can you subtract 10 from 100? Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.

274. Why did it get so hot in the baseball stadium after the game? All of the fans left.

275. Why did the math textbook visit the guidance counselor? It needed help figuring out its problems.

276. Why can’t male ants sink? They’re buoy-ant.

277. Talk is cheap? Have you ever talked to a lawyer?

278. Why did the gym close down? It just didn’t work out!

279. What type of sandals do frogs wear? Open-toad!

280. What did the man get when he ran into a palm tree? A facepalm.

281. A teddy bear sits down at a restaurant. The waiter asks, “Would you like anything?” The bear responds, “No, I’m stuffed.”

282. How do you mend a jack-o-lantern? With a pumpkin patch.

283. What did the right eye say to the left eye? Between you and me, something smells!

284. Why does everyone invite ice cream to the party? Because it’s so cool.

285. What did the grape say to the silly peanut butter? You’re nuts!

286. When do you need to climb the ladder? To get to High School.

287. Why was the cell phone wearing glasses? It lost its contacts.

288. People are always worried about their cell phones or microwaves spying on them. Truth is, those are not the appliances you need to be concerned about. It’s your Vacuum Cleaner that you need to be worried about – it’s been collecting dirt on you for years.

289. What does a baby computer call its father? Data!

290. What did the traffic light say to the traffic light? Don’t look, I’m changing.

291. Why did the Football Coach go to the bank? To get his quarter back.

292. What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree!

293. In which part of New York do cholesterol levels tend to be lowest? Statin Island.

294. What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hey, bud!

295. Why did the pony have to gargle? Because it was a little horse!

296. What musical instrument do you find in the bathroom? A tuba toothpaste!

297. What does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.

298. What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.

299. Why do sharks live in salt water? Because pepper water makes them sneeze.

300. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear…

Some funny short jokes to make your laugh

  1. Why did the bee get married? He found his honey.
  2. Did you hear the rumor about the butter? Never mind, I shouldn’t spread it!
  3. I’m really good at sleeping. I can do it with my eyes closed.
  4. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta
  5. Why can’t a bicycle stand on it’s own? It is two tired.
  6. What is the opposite of a croissant? A happy uncle.
  7. What does it make you if you see a robbery at an Apple Store? An iwitness.
  8. What is an astronaut’s favorite key on a keyboard? The space bar.
  9. What is brown and sticky? A stick
  10. Can February March? No but April May

Conclusion on Jokes To Tell Your Friends

Having a happy time with your friends is one of the best things can you do in your life, and if there are sarcastic jokes that everybody enjoys and laugh out loud, then it is like a cherry on top of the cake. Jokes to tell a girl over text, best dirty jokes to tell your friends, long joke that will make anyone laugh, jokes to tell your friends.

So, just go ahead with the above-listed different types of jokes for different situations which you will definitely enjoy.

Don’t forget to share the same with your friends too so that they can also drop some random jokes they liked.

Thank You 🙂

Funny Names To Call Your Friends

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